A Night Out With TwoBit
by Saber Wing
Summary: It's not what it sounds like. No really, it isn't.


_**Author's Note: **_Oh dude, this is so stupid. Really, really, really stupid. I'm completely serious when I say I am insane right now, which is the only reason why any of this is popping out of my head. I guess taking three Excedrin (for my migraine) with an energy drink, when I've had six hours of sleep all weekend was a horrible idea in hindsight, cause as a result, I have no idea what I'm doing ;DD. At least I stopped shaking from all the caffeine.

On the bright side, my migraine is gone now! I'm gonna put this up, before temporary insanity wears off and I come to my senses. Who knows, maybe by morning I'll be horrified enough to take it down. (shrugs) Whatever. Enjoy. I hope your brain cells survive this intact. By the way, most of it is going to take the form of one of those handy little dialog only fics. I've always wanted to try that ^_^

**A Night Out With Two-Bit**

**By: Angel Wings-008**

"A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse, of course..."

"Pony, what the hell are you doing?"

"Singing!"

"I gathered that...what are you singing?"

"Mr. Ed!"

"...why?"

"Darry, come _on. _My name is Ponyboy, it's kind of fitting, don't you think?"

"You're not popping full bottles of aspirin again, are you?"

"No brother darling, of course not!"

"..."

"..."

"...hand it over."

A sigh. "Fine."

"Don't let me catch you taking so many again, understand? And no more theme songs from cheesy 60's sitcoms."

"...how about-"

"No."

"But what if I-"

"No."

"..."

"..."

"Can't I just-"

"No!"

"You're no fun."

"I'm your big bad older brother who likes to scream and hit things. Nobody ever said I was fun."

"Hey wait a minute, Darry. I never said you like to scream and hit things and nobody else did, either."

A shrug. "Don't look at me, this is your dream."

"Dream...?"

"Well, yeah, unless you would regularly sing random, suckish, yet slightly catchy, songs in everyday life."

"Maybe you're right. I mean, come on. You just said 'suckish.' What does that even mean?"

"I know, right?"

"Right!"

"Okay, now we're using phrases that shouldn't exist for another three or four decades...can I wake up now? I'm starting to get a little scared."

"God, I hope so. I have a feeling that if you don't, the next humiliating song will be coming out of my mouth, and all of my fangirls know that I'm too macho in all of my leader-ness to sing."

"Maybe you're right. I should just..."

"It's a small world _after all!_"

"...huh?"

"Damn it. I told you this would happen. Couldn't it at least have been a half-way decent song?"

"...yeah...I'm just gonna...go do some horse related activities now..."

"Oh come on, Pony. That's so uncreative. Enough of the lame horse puns."

"Don't judge me, Darry! Don't judge me!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pony awoke with a gasp, sweat dripping off of his skin as he lay trembling under Soda's arm. What the...? Just from how uncomfortable he was, he could tell without looking that he was lying on the floor. He was under Soda's arm all right, but they certainly weren't in their bed at home. Where...?

Hesitantly, as if he were afraid apocalyptic terror had seized the entire world while he was asleep, Pony opened his eyes...to find himself sprawled out next to Sodapop on Two-Bit's floor, various other greasers scattered about in various states of distress and disarray. Heck, there were even a few Socs in the mix, and it was obvious that most of them were so drunk, and had passed out right where they had been. Not to mention, the piles upon piles of vomit lying around spoke volumes. Bits and pieces of the events of hours before were breaking through his consciousness, and Pony scowled as he squeezed his eyes shut once more, in an attempt to banish the migraine from hell that was making its presence known.

It had been a dream. A very strange dream. A very, _very_ strange dream, in which for some reason, his mind recognized and formed no description of his surroundings at all, and everything registered as dialog that made no sense for the person who was saying it.

Slowly, he slipped out from underneath Soda (turned out, it wasn't just his brother's arm on top of him) and stumbled into the bathroom, in search of a mirror (to see if it was truly possible to disappear out of sheer mortification) and maybe a cold glass of water. Glory, that was the last time Two-Bit was ever going to talk him into playing 'Have You Ever' with alcoholic drinks again. Although, the strip poker hadn't been a great idea either. Where the heck was his shirt at? And why were his pants half-way off?...wait, was that a bruise, or a hickey in the middle of his chest?

Why the middle of his _chest?_

Pony shuddered. For the first time in his life, he wondered if maybe he _was _just a little bit too imaginative and scatter-brained. Who dreamed about stuff like that? Who let themselves fall into situations like this?

Well, in his own defense, quite a few people, judging from the moans, groans, and snores he was hearing all around the house.

The only reason he and Soda had gotten away with going to this party in the first place was because Darry had to work through the night at his second job. _Especially_ him. Soda was an adult...sort of. Well, in age. He was an adult in age. If anything, Darry would just tan Soda's hide for allowing Pony to get so completely trashed under his supervision. He _was _trashed, he knew it. Even now, he had the slight urge to giggle and start singing, 'Old MacDonald Had A Farm.' He had no idea why, he just did.

Depending on what time it was, Darry should be discovering that his younger brother's had never come home any minute now, and Two-Bit's house wasn't very far...

"_Ponyboy Curtis!"_

He winced...forget Soda. Darry was gonna skin _him _alive.

Damn Two-Bit.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't think I've ever made less sense in my life. Hope you enjoyed it? This probably won't stay up once I'm coherent XDDD


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